dearth

i spent my whole day watching korean movie which was my favourite.
i like the feeling of the sadness it gave.
it makes me feel that i am still care of myself unlike when i went to KL few months ago.

my family came to KL for my cousin's wedding.
this cousin is my god sister as well.
but i departure from Penang with Liza first because she had an interview.
in the party i got to see the faces i dont like.
the uncle, aunty, and cousins.
especially my god parent.
i wonder why my parent allow them to take me as their god child.
in a circumstance, i told them that i want to go to Kuala Selangor to have my hair cut and eat the local delicious food.
immediately my god mother came to me and advise me in public:
you come to KL to study or be a food tester?
then i said i have to eat while i study right.
then she asked me why i want to do so.
i said i dont want to waste my chance to try the delicious as long as i still alive.
then she said to me in front of all people:
"you are wrong........"
1st thing i was angry is she nag me in front of so many people, they were listening.
2nd thing is she denies my opinion without any consideration.
3rd thing is she tried to manipulate my mind.
4th thing is the thing i always angry with her about. she never did her job as my god mother.
i hate to see her.
i hate to talk to her either.
but my mum keeps remind me that she is my god mother.
that irritate me more.
sometimes i would rather be an orphan like Liza than face all the fakers.

today, my dad asked me to go to MidValley to have lunch with my family.
today is my parent's 22nd annivesary.
then while eating, my mum kept complaining my hairstyle.
then she even compare me with my cousins.
that even piss me off. then i bursted.
i shouted you can complain me anything but not my hair!
dont manipulate me!
then after lunch i went back hostel immediately.













after years, i still miss you.
i will always love you and hope the best thing will happen to you all the time.