motivation

637am in the morning when i am writing this article.
i am not that hardworking by waking up so early.
but is my time turned upside down since the exam period start.
i sleep when the sun rose, wake up when the sunset.
three sarcastic papers was over.
i had never felt like suicide when i exam.
but this time i really dont have any confident on passing the paper.
one more to go.economics for marketing.
economy is my talent i would say.but the matter is the calculations.
although i manage to get a B grade for the coursework, i still a little bit worry on how to pass this paper.
this 2 days, desfin posted some of her recent pics on facebook.
and i accidentally and i felt like it was fated to make me saw the pics.
she was my motivation on everything i do when i with her,
after broke up, the sadness and loneliness that she gave to me
had evolved to an intrinsic locus of control to me.
but time goes by, i lost interest on everything when i thought i managed to get over her that time.
i felt that love is so easy to get and easy to let go.
thats why i became dispassionate.
but this few months i changed again.
i become an extroverted people again, i used my intuition a lot again.
why is it so?
because i miss her so much. i seriously say i still have feeling on her.
she is like a mark, a tattoo to me. ineraseable.
her shadows, her smiles, her voice, and everything, suddenly haunted me back.
that makes me still believe there is true love.
i wont hope to be with her again, but i will demand for her happiness.
she will never be my partner anymore, but no one can stop me from faithful to her.
although she betrayed me, i still love her.
if possible, i will keep my love to her forever in my heart undiscover because she is the only factor of my motivation.
then i checked on her profile, stated,"in relationship with Justin Looi"
thats the guy who i wont ever waste my time write any of him in my blog.
and i can know something of her recent life in penang because
i was with her for 9 months, everything of her are seems to be
predictable to me.








what goes around comes way back around
i miss desfin.