frustration

Saturday is my belated convocation.
I am sure everyone hope that parent will attend your own convo right?
So i called my mum (i never spoke to her for a long time) to ask her whether she wants to attend my convo or not.
then she asked me to ask my dad whether he wants to go or not.
so i called my dad.
my dad quickly rejected his friends' appointment.
he said luckily i called him to remind him.
actually it cheered me because all these years i am urging him to treat me like i am important.
then i called my mum back.
then she rejected me indirectly. It was harsed seriously.
she told me the reason that she has to fetch my little sister to tuition at the time.
then i asked her to give me some money for the petrol(i purposely test on her)
then she kept saying that i hurt her...bla bla bla...
then she raised up her voice then said i am infilial piety (her friends are beside her)
i heard their voices. i really feel like killing them you know.
but i have to calm down.
this is my mum. so i just ignored every spears she threw at me.
but i just cant forget she just did that.
that really hurt me.
my mum never called me since i came to setapak.
she always told me that my dad was hoping that i can quickly study at setapak so that can abandon me.
but from my perception, is she doing it.
when my relationship was good with my mum, i was hating my dad for what he did to my family.
but now my relationship is good with my dad and i am hating my mum for what she did to dad.
my dad applied hygience theory to me and made me hate him.
but now he is applying motivator theory to me.
today my group did the eng presentation.
i did not put in my 100% because i still lost myself.
so at the 1st, i was trying to talk to my mum.
but she just gave me that kind of reply.
sometimes i wonder where is my family?
am i alone?
until just now 745pm my dad called me asked me when i back.
then i said tomorrow. he said i kept wasting his money travelling back.
haha.
actually i felt warm.













u make me wonder